By Awunli Eghosasere
This is a transcribed and updated version of a talk I gave at a women's reunion dinner event.
A woman's life is saddled with wearing many hats, sometimes one at a time and at other times, all at once!
For example, Flavia Tata Nardia, CEO Fleet Space Technologies had to carry her toddlers to a speaking engagement and held the littlest one in her hand while she gave her speech. She didn't have a babysitter. She had to find a way to make it work.
|Flavia Tata Nardini via LinkedIn|
Like Flavia, finding a way is what we will have to do about the difficult times we may encounter on our paths in life.
Life is a pack of challenges. There is no one that is living a life that is free from having to experience diffilcult times.
Thinking you may be the only one undergoing difficult times can magnify the situation at hand and make you sink deeper into a state of self pity. Life isn't fair to anyone. But we all can make the decision to stay on top of whatever challenges it may be that we are faced with.
The following tips can help you get through difficult times and help you come out a success.
Sometimes, we may have control over a certain situation, at other times, we may not. For example, someone who has been diagnosed with a delibating disease and have a slim chance of survival may be able to overturn his or her circumstances by eating right, having faith and engaging in a lot of positive thoughts than resigning to fate. A broken spirit can hasten the effect of the disease on the body but activating a ray of hope can minimize the pain to a certain degree.
Whatever the case may be, deciding to take charge of the situation increases the chance of overcoming.
For instance, everything was going smooth for Femi Otedola, a business man from Nigeria until life happened in 2008. He experienced a big business setback!
His shipment of one million tons of diesel setting sail for Nigeria fell in price before it arrived its destination. Otedola, owner of Forte oil and 500 filling stations in Nigeria, lost one billion Naira from an avalanche of misfortunes that hit at almost the same time: plunge in oil prices, devaluation of the Naira, and stock price crash. In addition, he was accruing interest on his business loan.
He had two options: “to commit suicide or to weather the storm”, he tells Forbes Africa. “I decided to weather the storm. I just knew it was a phase I had to go through. You see, God prepares you for greater things and of course, experience is the best teacher, so I had to learn my lessons. I took the bitter pill”.
In 2014, Otedola had bounced back from crisis to clinching his former position on Forbes richest list with a net worth of 1.8billion dollars.
Had he not taken a decision to overcome his situation, he would have barely survived the harsh effects of the price drop in his business. Be determined to whether your storm.
Change Your Perception
Everything in life is about your perception. How you see situation matters. If you look at a half filled glass of water, and you see it as half empty, you are adopting a pessimistic point of view. But if you see that it is half full, you are adopting an optimistic point of view.
Optimism fuels courage to move forward despite the challenges, pessimism fuels discouragement and giving up.
How you perceive the situation can either fuel you with courage or quench any hope of getting out of the situation. You will need to adopt an optimistic point of view to forge ahead in difficult situations.
In the biblical story of Joseph's journey to becoming a prime minister, we find that in portiphar's house, he wasn't overcome by the feeling of sadness. The choicest son of his father now a slave, he didn't use that as an excuse to begin to indulge in all forms of social vices or to steal from his master. Rather he was found to be skilled at managing resources such that he was put in charge of portiphar's household. This happened because he was hopeful that his circumstances could change.
Put Out Negative Self Talk
Studies show that 80% of internal conversations are negative self talk. A female therapist adjudged the best therapist in the UK because of the outstanding performances by top celebrities who are her clients said what other people say to you do not matter as much as what you say to yourself. She said the key to beating circumstances is what you tell yourself.
If you have the power to speak to yourself and it can help you get results, take advantage of this formula and fuel yourself to overcome the problems you are experiencing. Always encourage yourself. Speak to yourself in the positive.
Understand Your Triggers
Observe the things that could make you fall into depressive moods. Could it be when you have stayed alone for too long, listening to a kind of music, staying in a particular environment or around a certain group of people? Whatever it is, walk out of those things so you won't slip into depression.
Develop a Healthy Social Circle
Humans are relational and social beings. Being around people who believe in you and cheer you up can help you overcome quickly. Avoid staying alone for too long.
Being hopeful is an antidote to triumphing over negative circumstances. Activate hope by making new plans. Have a variety of plans so that when one doesn't work out, another may. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. The bible puts it this way: sow your seed not just in the morning but also in the evening.
If you are an undergraduate, ask yourself if I don't get a job right after school, what can I do? Do I learn a vocational skill, intern or volunteer at an organisation? Have options. It helps you navigate challenging times better.
Develop a Sense of Purpose
Knowing your life is about something keeps you hopeful and gives you that fighting spirit to tackle any challenge head on. Purpose is an antidote for suicide someone said. Purpose fills your life with meaning and zest and the grit to push through.
Think of how you can use your gifts to impact your corner of the world. Purpose gives your life meaning and helps you persevere till the end. And then, you will land at the right side of your destiny!