Is Sex Negotiable? Answers From Six Couples



Sex in marriage is essential in building intimacy between couples. However, research has shown that men by nature have a very high sex drive compared to their female counterpart. 

Studies also reveal that low sex drive in women may instigate women to place a bargain before engaging in sexual activities with their partners. 

Couple therapists and marriage counsellors have rated sexual problems amongst couples as the leading cause of divorce.

Different factors may be responsible for low sex drive in women. Poor nutrition, hormonal changes during her monthly cycle, hormonal imbalance, work and life stress, low self esteem,past experiences related to sexual abuse or physical violence are some to mention a few.

In a local meetup organised by a faith based organisation, some couples were asked if sex in marriage is negotiable.

Six couples share their personal experiences.



Couple 1

Husband:Whenever my wife gives me a condition by which she can allow me get intimate with her,it pisses me off. I just tell her to forget about it.Sex should not be negotiable

Wife: It is fun for me to make a request of my husband whenever he wants to get intimate with me.I don't see it as a wrong thing.Sometimes there are things I would want as a woman and my husband does not think to do it naturally.I use that moment to put my demands to him.

Couple 2

Husband: There are times my wife tells me to buy a particular type of roasted meat on my way back from work.I just know in my heart that day that sex will be different if I fulfill this need.

Wife: Yes it is true

Couple 3

Husband: Sex is not negotiable.A woman should always be available whenever her husbands needs her.

Wife: I believe sex is not negotiable except for reasons that have to do with health concerns.In such a situation,the couple should decide what will work best for them.

Couple 4

Wife: Sex is not negotiable in my marriage relationship.But I want to say something to women:to avoid your husband running to a side chick,always be available for his sexual needs. Be ready to explore new adventures in bed with your man because these girls out there are ready to do anything with our men.

Husband: My wife has said it all.

Couple 5

Husband: I just got back from a long trip and its been four weeks since my wife put to birth.If after all I have encountered on my trip I decide to become intimate with my wife and she says she is having her monthly flow,I will tell her we will both go to the bathroom and wash up after sex.

Wife:What men fail to understand is that women need affection.Once this area of their need is fulfilled,the issue of negotiation will hardly arise.

Couple 6

Wife: Sex is not negotiable but every man must assist his wife in domestic chores from time to time.Domestic chores put a lot of strain on the woman and thus will affect her response to sexual intimacy in a negative way.

Husband: A woman must prepare her mind to always be available to her husband and not give conditions on which she will become sexually intimate with him.


What do you think? Is sex negotiable?

Share your thoughts in the comment section.


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